I cannot believe I am doing this right now.

I cannot believe I am doing this right now.

I cannot believe I am going to do this. Right now.

I am blogging, and this is the first time I have written a blog without the "red line of misspelling" appearing under any form of the word "blog."

I just read through my old blog entries. In case you don't remember (who the eff am I writing to?), I started this blog for an experimental writing course I was taking--during the spring semester at UMass Amherst, the English department offers experimental writing courses that graduate students design and teach. The courses are worth 3 credits and can only be taken Pass/Fail, but as an undergraduate I never realized how awesome the idea of these experimental courses were. Graduate students were designing and teaching them. Why the new perspective? Well, because I am a graduate student now. And I teach college-level writing. And while I won't be teaching anything experimental in my English department, this blogging class is very relevant to my life now as a teacher and a writer. Who knew?

As a teacher, I've been playing around with going more multimodal. As a writer, I am looking back at what I wrote about my Costa Rica experiences during my application time (I should have written more about that, but I was all "ew I don't want to write about my feelings for a public audience"). ((haha my blog persona is still kind of the same, huh?))

I am losing steam with this blog post at the moment, but, to be honest, I just wanted to start writing here as a sort of "warm up" to some more "academic" writing (I'm actually starting with some vignettes about my experience in Costa Rica, so I guess we can consider it creative nonfiction--is that academic or something else?). Hemingway was an avid letter writer, and his letter writing served as "warm ups" (and "cool downs") for his fiction. I wonder if blogs could serve the same purpose: get all the "real life" crap out of your head by writing it down, and then you're more free as a writer to write the crap you actually need to be writing. It's weird because, as I am writing this, I am having all these "meta" moments of what blogging is doing for me right now/what it has done for me in the past. Since my entries from years ago are fresh in my memory, I could easily allude to them and say something more poignant about the writer I was then. Or I could easily write about what has happened since then. Oh boy, now I am rambling, but I don't believe in deleting these thoughts. What I was trying to say is that I am having these "meta" moments, and, while I don't think I have an actual "audience" that will click on this to read it, I have an audience in my head--a very specific audience, which happens to be the same audience I am going to write for after I finish this. That's strange, right? That I have an audience in mind as I write, but it's a public blog, and this person is part of my "private"/school life, and I have no intention of showing this writing to him...

I don't know. One last note before I go back to my writing self that I was honing as an undergrad at UMass (the travel writing/memoir Kristi): Hemingway actually became a big part of my Master's degree life. But I had forgotten about this post that is now one of my favorites... I just noticed that someone from outside of our blogging class had commented on it (who wasn't a spammer!). In my current "Geopolitics and the Globalization of Writing" course, we've spent some time thinking about technology and English and the idea of "linking." It's interesting to me that someone engaged with that blog post (4 months after it was posted in 2007) because they were brought to my blog via a Google-image search (if you look at the last comment, you'll see that the blogger gives me "directions" to how he found me--yay not a stalker). He engages both "personally" and "academically" (it is downright stupid for me to split those phrases like that, especially in this case), and offers me "links" to him, to Hemingway, and to his personal space (not by posting his link but because his name is a hyperlink that leads me to a profile that leads me to a MySpace account). This dude still checks MySpace (whoa, no "red line of misspelling"came up under the title "MySpace"). People who use the Internet are weird.

I'm it?

After that one time I did that crazy thing with that one person I probably shouldn't have but it was pretty sweet so I don't regret it and yeah, this person invited me to join yet another social networking website: Tagged. I accepted and even threw a picture up there, despite the slower internet connections because I thought it'd be a nice way to keep in touch with this one person. I pretty much igonored it soon after joining, but after being home I realized it was a good way to continue writing in Spanish because people (read: men) send me messages all the time, and instead of ignoring them, I entertain them and wow them with my written skills (if only I could do this with my verbal skills without having to talk to strangers).

Anyway, after many requests to chat via messenger (I still like seeing lots of words in Spanish with the random English technology word thrown in... messenger) someone just asked for my email address, and since he seemed pretty harmless, I gave it to him. Turns out he's a rafting guide with Spanish schools in Turrialba, Arenal, and Dominical (did I mention my profile says I am from Costa Rica?). That's when I figure out he's a gringo. A gringo with Spanish schools, eh? Funny because I recently put myself onboard with a couple friends' idea of opening up a Spanish/surf school in Nicaragua.

So once I tell this guy I'm from Boston, we start writing in English, and I ask him about his experience with his schools. As expected, his beach school (Dominical with a joint surf school) does the best. And the reason they have had success is because they have a "very extensive medical Spanish program"... ohhh... I don't think my friends have thought that far ahead. But it's some good info to know. And now I don't feel like writing anymore.

Except for this: Tagged has some terrible features which includes "friends" "buying" "me." It's just wierd. Like... you know what? I just won't go there. Ciao.

What's a Title?

So I believe the last time I wrote in here, I mentioned that I wanted to start writing again. And that I should do it everyday. Because we are all well aware that the art of writing needs to be practiced, just like any other art or sport. The sport of writing-- maybe that's more my writing style.

Speaking of sports, it's March Madness time, and my brackets aren't looking too good. I mean, they look good enough for an overall win, but I won't have enough points to win my league and the lovely cash prize.

So since leaving Costa Rica, I've been hanging out and traveling quite a bit. I've found myself in Kansas City, Jamaica, and New York, and I have trips to Charlotte, Jersey, and a whole road trip planned to Kansas City with stops in Ontario (who knew the fun side of Niagara Falls would be the Canadian side, not you, eh?) and it looks like we're (and by "we" I mean my boyfriend is) going to choose between Chicago and Louisville as the last stop before I move to Kansas City for a few months.

I'm moving for a few reasons: the romantic one being that there's this boy who lives there; the logical one being that we've been in a long-distance relationship, well, forever, and this will be a good test of whether or not to keep it going, I guess. I've always said you don't really know someone until you live with them. And the other reason is that I'm not finding a steady job around here. Sure, liquor promotions pay well, but there's just not enough of them to keep me occupied. I'm moving to "The Plaza" part of Kansas City, which has lots of restaurants, bars, and good shopping, so hopefully there will be some sort (ANY sort) of work for me. When I look online, I find tons of job listings, so I feel pretty good about this move.

This is it for now. I don't feel like writing anymore. So here's a picture of a little kitty:

I'll try to make a more productive post soon when I'm not stressed out about jobs.

Oops

I aready suck at keeping a blog. I'm going to Kansas City (Kansas City, here I come) today. I am going to leave in about a half hour. I am going to kiss my boyfriend's face off and then superglue myself to his side, except for when he has to wake up in the morning and go to work without me. He should probably just take me with him. I'll be really quiet and sit under his desk like a good girl. I can just admire his ankles or something.

My skin is all super soft because I shaved for the first time in a month. Haha I'm gross. Not really though.

I'm Still Here

Hey! I'm still here, and I just read over the blog I kept for a class 2 years ago. What has happened between graduation and now? I moved to Costa Rica. And I'd like to start writing again. So maybe I will try keeping a blog. I don't know what my voice is like. And I don't know what I am going to write about. Is this directly because I don't know who my audience is? Maybe!

The entry I wrote about spring break has potential for a travel article. I should probably write about my past year.

I'm going to Kansas City this week, and I am very excited.

Okay. This was a start. Let's try writing at least something every day. This will be like the birth control pill except the opposite because I want to have "thought babies" every day. So, I guess it's more like horomone therepy? And I don't have to limit myself to writing only once a day. I need to just get back into the practice of writing.

It already worked because I like the idea of thought babies. How adorable!

Well Hello there, dear world.

I kind of feel like writing because well, it beats not writing, and it pretty much beats doing anything truly constructive like reading about diseases I might want to stay away from in Costa Rica.

I feel emotional today, kind of. This entry is going to be filled with kind ofs. I'm in a really strange place in my life. I'm not working. I'm not schooling. But in two months I'll be in a completly different time and place.. working and schooling. And who knows what else.

It's kind of nice that there are people supporting me in different ways, but it's also kind of nice that there are people who wouldn't mind it if I just didn't go at all. What if I didn't go? What if I didn't get the gig? What would I be doing right now? Would I actually settle down with one from my deck? Deck of cards that is. Playing cards, you might say. Am I being playful or serious?

I should probably go to the gym or something. Or eat. Maybe I'll try writing some other time.

Update what?

I guess it's time for an update. Maybe it's because there's so much that should be running through my head. Maybe it actually is. I don't think I'm even making sense.

Graduation was amazing. The whole having a week off beforehand wasn't too shabby either. Basically I'm surprised nobody died. Maybe I'll write about the pigroast, the heart-to-hearts, the general mayhem and et cetera sometime. It's funny/(some other adjective) to think that college is over. I mean, even if/when grad school comes around, it will never be the same as my undergraduate career. I can honestly say UMass surpassed all my expectations... class wise, friends wise, and otherwise. It was a second home, and nothing will ever touch it... was it Thomas Wolfe that said "You can't go home again"...? Yeah.

Then again, Thomas Wolfe obviously didn't grow up in Leicester, Massachusetts. Actually being "home" has just solidified the fact that my high school friends will be there to the end... we're awkwardly close... and I wouldn't change any of it.

Anyway, I think the reason I decided to blog in this guy was to give the update on Costa Rica: I got the job.

All right. I still can't figure out what to say about it yet. I got the job.

I got the job.

Ahhh... anyway... I just got back from San Diego yesterday, and I'm somewhat in love with the place. While I'd still want to raise a family in New England, So.Cal. may have its place for a year or two in my future. Look at me, talking about my future like that. I don't want to go too much into it, but just being away from here was the perfect thing for me. After battling mono for what seemed like a long time, I wasn't sure how this trip was going to go... but it worked out really well. I could go on about going to all 3 Sox games (hey San Diego, you can have your ballpark back. Love, the thousands of Red Sox fans that overtook your city) and taking advantage of liberal drinking laws and a hotel on the beach. But something else happened. Maybe it was all the time to just be away from my apartment and my mom's house and maybe to kind of reflect... subconciously (sorry La Feminista).

I don't feel as jaded anymore towards... things... I guess I finally feel open to truly... meeting... someone.... okay this is getting weird and too personal.

I hate to say that "being away" gave me some new perspectives on Life or whatever (especially after being gone for 5 days), but I think that graduating and moving on opened up a lot of feelings for me that I just chose not to think about... wow this is so lame.

I guess that being "home," then being Home, then being away just helped me get back to... me. And I won't lie: I'm a pretty fucking good time.

And I love my friends. And I love fun. And I love life. And everything is going to change decently soon. I don't know when the fear will set in, but I imagine it has to.

I'm going to throw in some pictures because this post was... well, you read it.