Oops

I aready suck at keeping a blog. I'm going to Kansas City (Kansas City, here I come) today. I am going to leave in about a half hour. I am going to kiss my boyfriend's face off and then superglue myself to his side, except for when he has to wake up in the morning and go to work without me. He should probably just take me with him. I'll be really quiet and sit under his desk like a good girl. I can just admire his ankles or something.

My skin is all super soft because I shaved for the first time in a month. Haha I'm gross. Not really though.

I'm Still Here

Hey! I'm still here, and I just read over the blog I kept for a class 2 years ago. What has happened between graduation and now? I moved to Costa Rica. And I'd like to start writing again. So maybe I will try keeping a blog. I don't know what my voice is like. And I don't know what I am going to write about. Is this directly because I don't know who my audience is? Maybe!

The entry I wrote about spring break has potential for a travel article. I should probably write about my past year.

I'm going to Kansas City this week, and I am very excited.

Okay. This was a start. Let's try writing at least something every day. This will be like the birth control pill except the opposite because I want to have "thought babies" every day. So, I guess it's more like horomone therepy? And I don't have to limit myself to writing only once a day. I need to just get back into the practice of writing.

It already worked because I like the idea of thought babies. How adorable!

Well Hello there, dear world.

I kind of feel like writing because well, it beats not writing, and it pretty much beats doing anything truly constructive like reading about diseases I might want to stay away from in Costa Rica.

I feel emotional today, kind of. This entry is going to be filled with kind ofs. I'm in a really strange place in my life. I'm not working. I'm not schooling. But in two months I'll be in a completly different time and place.. working and schooling. And who knows what else.

It's kind of nice that there are people supporting me in different ways, but it's also kind of nice that there are people who wouldn't mind it if I just didn't go at all. What if I didn't go? What if I didn't get the gig? What would I be doing right now? Would I actually settle down with one from my deck? Deck of cards that is. Playing cards, you might say. Am I being playful or serious?

I should probably go to the gym or something. Or eat. Maybe I'll try writing some other time.

Update what?

I guess it's time for an update. Maybe it's because there's so much that should be running through my head. Maybe it actually is. I don't think I'm even making sense.

Graduation was amazing. The whole having a week off beforehand wasn't too shabby either. Basically I'm surprised nobody died. Maybe I'll write about the pigroast, the heart-to-hearts, the general mayhem and et cetera sometime. It's funny/(some other adjective) to think that college is over. I mean, even if/when grad school comes around, it will never be the same as my undergraduate career. I can honestly say UMass surpassed all my expectations... class wise, friends wise, and otherwise. It was a second home, and nothing will ever touch it... was it Thomas Wolfe that said "You can't go home again"...? Yeah.

Then again, Thomas Wolfe obviously didn't grow up in Leicester, Massachusetts. Actually being "home" has just solidified the fact that my high school friends will be there to the end... we're awkwardly close... and I wouldn't change any of it.

Anyway, I think the reason I decided to blog in this guy was to give the update on Costa Rica: I got the job.

All right. I still can't figure out what to say about it yet. I got the job.

I got the job.

Ahhh... anyway... I just got back from San Diego yesterday, and I'm somewhat in love with the place. While I'd still want to raise a family in New England, So.Cal. may have its place for a year or two in my future. Look at me, talking about my future like that. I don't want to go too much into it, but just being away from here was the perfect thing for me. After battling mono for what seemed like a long time, I wasn't sure how this trip was going to go... but it worked out really well. I could go on about going to all 3 Sox games (hey San Diego, you can have your ballpark back. Love, the thousands of Red Sox fans that overtook your city) and taking advantage of liberal drinking laws and a hotel on the beach. But something else happened. Maybe it was all the time to just be away from my apartment and my mom's house and maybe to kind of reflect... subconciously (sorry La Feminista).

I don't feel as jaded anymore towards... things... I guess I finally feel open to truly... meeting... someone.... okay this is getting weird and too personal.

I hate to say that "being away" gave me some new perspectives on Life or whatever (especially after being gone for 5 days), but I think that graduating and moving on opened up a lot of feelings for me that I just chose not to think about... wow this is so lame.

I guess that being "home," then being Home, then being away just helped me get back to... me. And I won't lie: I'm a pretty fucking good time.

And I love my friends. And I love fun. And I love life. And everything is going to change decently soon. I don't know when the fear will set in, but I imagine it has to.

I'm going to throw in some pictures because this post was... well, you read it.

hello hello

Well, I got mono.

But I graduated.

I probably have a lot to say.

Fine. I'll give you a freaking personal one.

So my 40 pages are due tomorrow, and I am very happy to say that (at this moment), 29 are completly finished and fully edited.... I'm just trying to figure out how to end the thing. See, through this whole memoir process, I was kind of freaked out about the page length... what story could I tell for that long? Now that I've worked it to death, I've realized that I have a lot more than 40 pages (trust me, I look through at least 20 additional pages that I don't want to throw away every couple of hours). So maybe, juuust maybe, this is just some sort of beginning to something bigger. Maybe I'll work on completing it after this class ends... who knows?

I need to finish that guy up, like right now, but I've been planning on posting this story all week: it's pretty light-hearted, but it is something more personal than I'd ever consider blogging about.

So here it is. How I met my first best friend at UMass. . . (anyone else been on nostalgia overload lately? I'm not fully there, but I can feel it coming... hfhflsfjsl).


I remember sitting in my Intro to Logic class (I thought Philosophy 110 would involve discussion not formulas). I am looking particularly cute this day because I had no classes prior to one o’clock on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This gave me time to sleep in, take a shower, and eat lunch. Life was good on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I sat in the 100-seat lecture room, always at least ten minutes early because being late for anything drives me insane. A guy sat down next to me, and I felt that he had to talk to me. I just knew. But, he wouldn’t even look at me! For an hour and fifteen minutes, we sat next to each other, not listening to the same lecture, and he couldn’t even give me a smile.


I walked into my next class, Intro to Personal Communication (possibly taught by the lamest professor in the world). I am sitting next to my new friend, Derek, when he walks in! The guy from my Logic class!


I tap Derek, “You see that kid right there?”


Derek looks at the kid walking across a row of the 400-seat lecture hall. “Yeah.” He seems uninterested.


“Well I hate him!”


This perks him up a bit. “Really?”


Not even a why? Just a really? I explain to him that I sat next to him, no, that he sat next to me in the class before this one, and he didn’t even look at me! Derek laughs, but I stay half-serious before falling into a class coma.


Two days later, Thursday, that kid sits next to me again! Ten minutes before class. I’m not looking too bad today either. Ten minutes before class I ask him: “So are you going to at least talk to me today?” His genuine shock is something I’ll never forget.


“Oh, uh, yeah…” he says.


Our conversation stayed on the surface: names, hometowns, dormitories (he actually lived in the same area as I). Dan and I became great friends during our first semester freshman year, and he is still one of my bests at the university four years later. We tell the story because it makes us giggle; our lives would have been drastically different if it wasn’t for that day (especially considering we shared a room for a semester). But it is only now that I question myself: where did I get that confidence? How was I so ballsy to think that this stranger needed to talk to me? Intuition? ESP?

Response to Brett's Comment (see last blog)

Dear Brett,

I'm sure you're friend had more than 1 weekend to write 100 pages about facts.... facts that he or she probably should have been researching for a while...

I'm not bitching, but for me, it's way harder to write 40 decent pages about myself and a topic like race than it would be to write a science thesis where you just write and interpret the facts.

There's nothing really creative about a science thesis-- I'm sure you're friend isn't worried about the fact that people are going to be knowing all about her and her life... no one exposes their secrets in a science thesis. When your friend's paper gets published... his or her feelings are going to be slightly different than mine.

So thanks for your comment, but you just don't get it.

Love,

Kristi

ps- how's that for blog drama?? :)
pps- that's what you get for not asking me to your formal, jerk.